hilarious personal ads

[jrtom]

from Boing Boing: London Review of Books personal ads



Would you like to surprise my bookshelves? M, 34, living in Berkshire, seeks 30-something woman to suggest new things to read and more interesting reasons for not reading them. Box no. 08/01

Woman, 36. Likes anagrams, crosswords, logic puzzles and screwing with your head. It’s not that I don’t like you. Box no. 08/04

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Box no. 08/06

I like you because you read magazines with big words. And you’ve got great booblies. I can live without the first. But the second is non-negotiable. Shallow man, 34. When I say ‘shallow’, I mean, damn. Box no. 08/08

Woman, 43, would like to meet a man – any man – whose evolutionary path isn’t that of Homer Simpson. Suspecting that’s too difficult, I may go lesbian. Box no. 08/10

Massive-breasted heiress, 38, seeks witty Nobel-awarded intellectual beef-cake gardener-chef-poet with stonking pecs. Like me, you are dynamic, hilarious, serious, ironic, passionate, practical, affectionate, kind, funny, have most of your own legs, and are startled to find yourself still cruising the aisles of the Lurve Bazaar. Unlike me, you don’t exist. Am I right? If so, will consider any M who can make conversation, sense, a living, friends, four cooked meals, hot love and me laugh. Box no. 07/01



"When I say 'shallow', I mean, damn."