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jrtomSomeone I know posted one of those "tell me about you/me" memes on their LJ recently, and one of the questions I ended up answering at more length than I expected. I thought it was interesting enough to post here:
So, how much did it change your world to become a dad? Are you ready to do it again *2?
An excellent question.
I suspect that in a lot of ways that it's only just begun to change my world. I have younger siblings (well, close enough--it gets complicated) that are 16 years and more younger than I--as a result of which I got at least some experience changing diapers and being around young kids before Corwin showed up.
But there's a world of difference between being comfortable around infants (and toddlers, etc.) and Having Your Own Kids. It's hard not to be aware that some of the most valuable lessons that he'll learn from me are things that I probably never intended and don't even remember. It's even weirder to be aware that there will almost certainly be some point--I hope--at which he, and my other children, will rebel against me in some way and probably say some terrible things. And things keep moving along, and every day gives me another choice to spend time with Corwin or to work on one of the things that's always itching the back of my brain.
Am I ready to do it again? Well, I guess we'll find out. Somewhat less flippantly, I think that on a lot of levels I'm reasonably ready for it--I'm glad that the twins didn't show up first!--but that having two infants at the same time is going to be qualitatively different than one, especially since Corwin will still be there and have his own needs (and demands!).
It's kind of ironic: professionally, I build models, based on data that I've seen in the past, that are intended to predict future behavior, and to classify and describe stuff that I haven't seen yet.
Philosophically, though, I have a deep distrust of this kind of model, and am very aware that there are almost always external factors that I probably don't even know about, much less have the data to describe. The best that I can hope for is that my models capture some of the essence of the problem...and that I will recognize when the world has passed them by and that they need to be re-considered and rebuilt. (This is one reason why I like continuously-trained neural networks...but I digress, even for me.)
It's like that with parenting, I think. I think that the best that I can hope for is that I've learned something from raising Corwin up to this point, and that what I've learned will help me to learn what I need as things go on.
So, how much did it change your world to become a dad? Are you ready to do it again *2?
An excellent question.
I suspect that in a lot of ways that it's only just begun to change my world. I have younger siblings (well, close enough--it gets complicated) that are 16 years and more younger than I--as a result of which I got at least some experience changing diapers and being around young kids before Corwin showed up.
But there's a world of difference between being comfortable around infants (and toddlers, etc.) and Having Your Own Kids. It's hard not to be aware that some of the most valuable lessons that he'll learn from me are things that I probably never intended and don't even remember. It's even weirder to be aware that there will almost certainly be some point--I hope--at which he, and my other children, will rebel against me in some way and probably say some terrible things. And things keep moving along, and every day gives me another choice to spend time with Corwin or to work on one of the things that's always itching the back of my brain.
Am I ready to do it again? Well, I guess we'll find out. Somewhat less flippantly, I think that on a lot of levels I'm reasonably ready for it--I'm glad that the twins didn't show up first!--but that having two infants at the same time is going to be qualitatively different than one, especially since Corwin will still be there and have his own needs (and demands!).
It's kind of ironic: professionally, I build models, based on data that I've seen in the past, that are intended to predict future behavior, and to classify and describe stuff that I haven't seen yet.
Philosophically, though, I have a deep distrust of this kind of model, and am very aware that there are almost always external factors that I probably don't even know about, much less have the data to describe. The best that I can hope for is that my models capture some of the essence of the problem...and that I will recognize when the world has passed them by and that they need to be re-considered and rebuilt. (This is one reason why I like continuously-trained neural networks...but I digress, even for me.)
It's like that with parenting, I think. I think that the best that I can hope for is that I've learned something from raising Corwin up to this point, and that what I've learned will help me to learn what I need as things go on.