Oregon visit retrospective and related reflections

[jrtom]

Megan and I spent the last week in Oregon, mostly around Portland. During that time we attended two baby showers for Megan (one thrown by her family, one thrown by friends), spent Thanksgiving with her family, attended two birthday events (one Megan's, one a friend's), and a bunch of miscellaneous social events and hangings-out.

We now have more onesies than the mind can comfortably encompass. (Registering for stuff for our wedding worked out pretty well; while we did get a number of things we neither wanted nor needed, people generally did pay attention to our registry. Registering for baby stuff resulted in an almost complete no-hitter, although in fairness we did ask for gift certificates so that we wouldn't have to haul or ship a ridiculous amount of stuff back to California: we got three items off the list, out of about 50 or so. Oh, and we had to borrow a giant duffel to get everything that we did get back to CA. *sigh*)

I like going to graduate school at UC Irvine: I have a good--sometimes great--advisor, I get paid decently for a student, I get to work (mostly) on what I want to work on, the intellectual environment is great, and I can work from home. (Which is crucial to our plans as of the end of January...) But I grow increasingly frustrated over the fact that UCI is, well, in Southern California--a place in which I actually have a negative interest in living. Yes, there are lots worse places. But I miss the Pacific Northwest, and Oregon in particular, for a myriad reasons, large and small, and I'd like to be done now, please.

Comments

[red-frog.livejournal.com]

How does you working from home work?

And when are you done piling it higher and deeper, or do you know?

[jrtom.livejournal.com]

Working at home: mixed. I'm not a morning person, and it tends to take me some time to start getting productive work done in the morning. Also it requires more discipline to keep from goofing off. Also it requires more discipline to keep from feeling like I should be working all the time (evenings, weekends). Being more productive early in the day would help with this. This is one of the reasons why I will probably go to industry (rather than academia) at least for a while after I finish: generally speaking, if I'm working at HP (say) I will not feel compelled to keep working while I'm home...and it's hard to teach without it taking over your entire life. It's also handy, when I'm working with someone, to be able to walk down the hall and poke my head in someone's office.

On the other hand, working at home is more comfortable (I have a much better chair at home than I tend to get where I work) and gives me more flexibility in terms of scheduling, which is often very handy.


When am I done? I wish I could say with more certainty. My target is the end of next year...but I have not yet advanced to candidacy, defended my thesis topic, or started writing my dissertation. Or started taking care of an infant. So we'll see, I guess.

[red-frog.livejournal.com]

I assume you've already talked to Dad about finishing a PhD at home with a new infant.

Best of luck. While I have friends who love SoCal (especially West Hollywood, where they live) they're not very like you in some essential ways, even though I think you'd like them.

Two different people want me in Seattle, but for now I am not thinking about that. :P

[jrtom.livejournal.com]

I haven't talked to Dad about that in the way that you mean, probably. In any case, there are two significant differences between Dad's situation at that time and mine. First, getting an M.D. involves a hell of a lot of hard work, intelligence, and dedication, but in terms of what you need to do in order to finish it, it's more like a bachelor's degree than a Ph.D.: if you pass your exams (both practical and academic), you're good, whereas a Ph.D. requires "an original contribution to the field of human knowledge", and usually a lot less of what most people would call "hard work". IMO, the fact that they're both called doctoral degrees is a bit misleading.

As for SoCal...I can live here, but I will never love it here. The jury's still out on the Bay Area, but I think that it's more likely to appeal to me long-term. Of course, it's also hideously more expensive than basically anywhere in Oregon (and probably Washington).

[red-frog.livejournal.com]

Wrong degree: he took care of Nephew while getting his PhD. :) Seriously, he might have some insight to offer.

[jrtom.livejournal.com]

I believe that Dad was pursuing a Master's degree, not a Ph.D. Which is, again, a different animal: sort of a Ph.D. writ small (unless you're doing a course Master's).

And the other thing that I meant to mention: the plan is that I am going to be the primary caregiver for the baby while working on research at home, and that Megan will go back to work after a couple of months (at least until I've finished and have a job elsewhere). Which strikes me as a very different situation from what Dad had. I mean, yeah, Dad may have some useful insight--he usually does--but our situations really aren't very comparable.

[red-frog.livejournal.com]

Dad was primary caregiver while Mom and Sis (and I) were working, and it was a PhD in bioethics.

Up to you, but there are more parallels than you may realize.

[red-frog.livejournal.com]

Okay, I checked with Dad--MA. My memory grows hazy in my old age.

[gwyd.livejournal.com]

I couldn't do it. The whole idea of SoCal turns my stomache. We miss you up here.

[(Anonymous)]

well, then the southern californians, WHO LIKE IT HERE, think that you can stay away.

[jrtom.livejournal.com]

OK, folks. Keep it civil. I would prefer not to block anonymous postings (since I do have some friends that don't have LJ accounts) but I will if I feel that such posters are not being reasonably respectful.

(This goes for non-anonymous posters, too, but at least I can block them individually if they start being overly snarky.)

[hypgnosis.livejournal.com]

I know why you are doing what you are doing. I don't know that I could do it in your place, for several reasons.

And we do indeed miss you up here.